I was brought up in a more Catholic environment, and the God I was taught about was more distant – which I only became aware of much later. I thought God just was. He exists, but He is far away, watching us from a distance. That's what I thought.
When I gave my life to Jesus at the age of 17, I always wanted to perceive God's "voice" and stretched out for it. I learned a lot in that direction, from others and from life. The idea that this great God, who created the universe, wants to make contact with us humans and communicate personally with us, is still gigantic and fascinating to me. But is it really God's voice that I think I perceive? Isn't it presumptuous to claim that God speaks to me? What do I do with impressions that seem strange to me? Can I really rely on them? Doesn't my life show that things have often gone really wrong? Can I really know if God is speaking to me? Or is it all just my own thoughts?
Through Jakobsbrunnen, where I have been for about a year, my confidence in truly perceiving the expressions of the biblical God, our heavenly Father, has greatly improved. I have found a place where I can ask my questions and receive feedback for my often hesitant "walking on water." I have become bolder in trusting that when I ask Jesus for an answer, He will not mislead me. I have received feedback from other people that what I "heard" for them deeply impacts and touches them and that there are things that no one else knew except them (and God) alone.
I am now more convinced than ever that our heavenly Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit want to speak to us and that I (and everyone!) can perceive God's voice. I have come to understand that this uncertainty about whether it is really God speaking is normal and is part of "walking on water" (= taking risks in trusting God).
I have found like-minded people who perceive things more deeply, often question themselves, with whom I can discuss my and their questions, and who are always willing to embrace new challenges, even in areas that are not so natural for us.